


Musings of a Drunken Queen

by SheDragonOfTheWest



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol, Anger, Dysfunctional Relationships, Gen, Internal Monologue, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheDragonOfTheWest/pseuds/SheDragonOfTheWest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cersei muses about her life, especially her relationship with King Robert, while she drinks. Note: I was slightly drunk myself when I wrote it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings of a Drunken Queen

Why does he talk to me like this? Like I did matter to him? I don’t. You think I care? You think I give a fuck? Go get your whore. Why should I be jealous? Why should it matter to me at all? I hate you anyway. It’s not even the first time you’ve done this to me… I’m not the one he wanted. Well, neither is he the one that I want.   
I’m just too wasted to care. And people still wonder why I drink. When you’re drunk, nothing matters. Everything seems harmless. You’re not even completely aware of your own body anymore. The bruises you left the night before don’t hurt. It’s a place between sleep and awake. You just let yourself go. You can even laugh at reality; it’s probably the only way I can do that.   
And still, I sit here and wish to be saved, like the princess I’ve never been. Sigh. Life is not a fairytale, and I learnt it the hard way. Knights don’t suddenly come and ride into the sunset with you. No, they’re just too busy in their own little world to even notice you’re there. Once they get their stupid happy ending, they even forget your name.   
Fuck you. Fuck you all. I’m tired of this bullshit. I’m even too tired to be tired. Drink and forget, that’s all I can do. Drink until I lose my senses. Until everything is blurry. Until nothing exists.   
This wasn’t my destiny. This isn’t what it’s supposed to be. You took a beautiful rose and tried to have it wither, but I won’t give you that satisfaction. Your brutality is nothing against my pride. And be sure I’ll take you down before you even know. I’ll be the one to destroy you, not the other way round. A Lannister always pays her debts and when it comes to suffering, darling, I owe you big time.   
So go ahead. Sleep with your whores. Get lost in the woods. It’s not like I’ll miss you at all. Distract yourself. That will just make it easier. You won’t even see the final strike coming. Then, finally, I will have what I deserve. In the meantime, go your own way and I’ll go mine. You’re messing with the wrong one. But only when you burn to ashes will you realize you’ve been playing with fire…


End file.
